Dear Grandpa...

Dear Grandpa...

I love you very much. I am sorry that I haven't been by to see you recently, even though you are doing much better. I know that when things were worse you did not want me there. It was too hard for you to see us hurting and for you to be in that helpless condition before our eyes. Even though you couldn't talk and had tubes coming out of ever where possible and you were not quite awake, I knew. You and I, we could always read each others minds.

The last time I was with you, Mom was gently stroking your head and singing you hymns. I tried to join in, but between my mom, my tears and off-key voice, we were horrible. I imagined you laughing at us and our poor attempt at calming you.

I am sorry that I can not control my tears when I am with you. I have had you for so long, it is hard to imagine life without you. I know this is natural and I know I have been spoiled to have 25 years with you, but it does not make this any more easier. I find my self unable to even think about you and what you are going through, let alone talk about it.

Grandma breaks my heart with the things she says to me. She says she finds peace in the hope that the Lord has given us. She knows that our time here on earth is short and the time she may have to be separated from you is even shorter. She admitted that her secret prayer for a long time has been that the Lord will take her first, so that she will not have to live without you. I hope to achieve that kind of love that is deep and rooted. It is unbreakable, unshakable and is bursting from within in you both.

Thank you for the memories. Thank you for taking time out of your life for me. Thank you for lunch at Taco Bell. Thank you for your never ending support and encouragement in all my crazy ventures. Thank you being so generous and not thinking twice about giving or providing for your LARGE and NEEDY family. You are our rock and support. We always knew you gave so much to us, but now we truly feel it from within.

I love you Grandpa...I am thankful for the time God has given us here on earth.

Some craziness and some kindness

This post is dedicated to my husband (aka mr. winky pants)

CRAZINESS:
My husband recently had his wisdom teeth pulled...ALL 4!! Apparently this is unusual, because every time I tell people he had his wisdom teeth pulled, they ask "how many?", and are SHOCKED when I tell them "all four". The oral surgery only took 40 minutes, but it took him 15 minutes to wake up. As soon as he was awake, the nurse came and got me, so she could give us instructions. As soon as I walk in, I see him sitting there with sleeping eyes and a distant stare. Once the nurse begins giving us care instructions, he starts winking at me. Not like 1 or 2 winks...like repetitive winking. I try to hold in my laughter and be an adult as I listen to unsmiling nurses instructions. Its hopeless...I have no self control. As soon as she leaves to get the doctor, we have this conversation:

"mr. winky pants" : I am going to pretend I am dead
(mind you, his mouth is full of gauze)

me : wha...huh?

"mr. winky pants" : I'm going to pretend I'm dead...
(he proceeds to lay lifeless in the chair with bloody mouth open and eyes closed)

We had a few other conversations that consisted of nonsense ramblings and me laughing out loud. As soon as the doctor walked in, I was able to compose myself and resume maturity. I love my husband...no one makes me laugh harder than him.

KINDNESS:

It was my husbands birthday recently, and he got a little spare change from grandpa. Unlike me, my husband has the ability to spend his money wisely and quickly. I hide mine and think about sending it.
On Sunday he surprised me and said he wanted to take me on a date. Now I should tell you we are on MEGA save mode because we are hoping to go to South Africa for the World Cup 2010. So I thought...oookkkaay...then he proceeds to melt my heart. He tells me, I want to thank you for the patience, care and love you have shown me these last few weeks...I have some birthday money left, so I want to take you to a movie and PinkBerry. (remember he just had 4 teeth pulled) Is you heart melting yet? He wasn't finished. My "film guru" husband then says: "do you want to watch Bride Wars or He's Just Not That Into You?" Ummmm...excuse me? We have been together for about 8 years, never have we seen a "chick flick"...NEVER! I about fell over...I couldn't believe it. I chose He's Just Not That Into You and it was horrible...but I didn't care and he didn't care. He showed my kindness, appreciation and selflessness. What he made me feel cannot be fully expressed with words. If I were a cartoon, I would hearts for eyeballs and be drunk with love.

Friends and wasting time at work

I have some wonderful, thoughtful and loyal friends. I am beyond blessed in that department. It might due to the fact that if I know you, I automatically think you are my friend...my husband finds this odd. When it comes to my close friends, I usually end up giving them their own special nick name. I find it endearing, its a way I show my love in a way. Like when people in love use nicknames I guess. I usually end up shortening their name in some way, but sometimes it comes out of left field...like my brother...I call him Pablo, his name in no way can be tied to Pablo. I guess this is my substitue for rolling them in a ball and squeezing them everytime I see them.

On another note, I have been reading and following blogs like CRAZY!! Literally...I spent almost my entire 8 hour shift at work reading blogs. I got some great ideas and have BIG plans for my blog. Kind of excited! I hope to use my blog as encouragement to take part in things I love, instead of sitting on my butt or cleaning the apartment.

Here are some of my ideas:
1. Make a 101 in 1001 list
2. Share my current crafts
3. Share my new designs usning my fashion school skills
4. Share new ways to give and help others be aware of the world we live in
5. Embarrass my husband...wait...i mean...share my love for my CRAZY husband
6. Show my amazing thrift finds
7. Share my favorite recipes
8. Say things I don't know how to say out loud

Well...my 8 hour shift is almost over, that means I should hurry and make it look like I did something before the second shift comes in!!

Giving it up to Give

Lent:

This year for Lent, the youth group as a whole gave up ALL beverages except for water and are participating in THE H2O PROJECT. This means, coffee, soda, juice and boba. By doing this, we are raising money to build wells in developing countries...let me explain.

Lent last for 40 days: Ash Wednesday to Easter

Every day calculate the money you would have used to by a coffee, soda with lunch, milk for the week...etc...

Save the money and give it to Living Water International, who train nationals in developing countries and provide them with the necessary equipment to obtain clean drinking water.

Think it sounds crazy...watch this video . It is so much harder than I thought it would be. I always count on the delicious cup of coffee on days I am pooped! I work at 5:30AM mind you...I am inevitably going to be pooped some days. And sometimes I just want something sweet to drink...lemon water doesn't cut it. But that is whole purpose, right?! In preparation for Holy Week, the Death and Resurrection of my Lord and my Savior, through prayer (dear Jesus...), penitence (repenting...lots of that!), almsgiving (money for clean water) and self-denial (ahhh! no coffee or sugary drink!).

So good luck to all of you who are participating in Lent. So happy we can prepare together for the Death and Resurection of our Lord.