Marriage

I had a conversation last month with a good friend. This friend tends to be on the negative side and I tend to be on the overly positive side. Ying and Yang...Black and White I guess.
This is how the convo went down:

Friend: Can I ask you a question? How is your marriage going?
Me: Ummmm...fiiiinnnneeee...why?
Friend: Well I don't think I believe in marriage any more, recently I have heard of a lot of people getting divorced
Me: Oh no! how sad!
Friend: Yeah, like my cousin...a good friend...

Now...this is what I wished I had the guts to say:
Me: Okay miss negative...so you have lost your faith in marriage because a few people are getting divorced...How 'bout looking at all the marriages around you that are successful and going strong, at church, in our community, your family...Why must a few negative things change your "belief" when a BUNCH of positive things make no difference to you. Come on now!!

This happened a month or two ago...but i was thinking about it again...decided to get it off my chest...apparently it was bothering me

by the way...i love you babe!


On a lighter note...

"That was a very happy day.
And then a cow pooped on my porch and destroyed my joy."

From one of my FAVORITE blogs.

Dear Grandpa...Part II

Dear Grandpa,

My dad said you were asking for my brother and I, so we came the next day. When we walked in you were sitting up in the chair awake and alert, what a pleasant surprise! I could feel myself starting to choke up but I resisted. We made small talk, you didn't talk much. Charley read you the sports page. You started coughing and choking, your face turned red, then purple. I know this is somewhat normal and what happens with a trachea, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch. That was it, I couldn't control my tears, sorry. With a tearful look on your face, you reached out for mom, she gave you a hug. You mouthed "i love you so much". The next few moments were a blur, i couldn't stop crying. You held my hand and asked for a kiss. I leaned over and kissed your scruffy cheek...I am so glad you asked for a kiss, I don't know if I would have had strength to do it on my own. You looked exhausted, we asked if you wanted to sleep, you nodded your head. We said goodbye and i love you. That was it.
written April 10, 2009

Grandpa went home April 13, 2009. I got to say goodbye...it was lovely and tragic all at the same time. I know how blessed and lucky I am to have gotten to say goodbye, but it was very difficult and a bizarre thing to do. The Lord brought Grandpa home gently. Everyone got to say goodbye, even my cousin from Pittsburgh. Grandpa told everyone he was ready to go, he just wanted to say goodbye. Grandma, Aunt Connie and Dad were there for his last breaths and just like that he was home.

My 101 Things in 1001 Days

APPRECIATE GODS BEAUTIFUL CREATION:
Get back down to healthy weight (150lbs/130lbs)
Do some form of cardio 4 times a week (0/52 weeks)
Cook only vegetarian for a month
Devise HEALTHY meal plan for work
Eliminate snacking at work
Go on 3 hikes (0/3)
Go surfing again, at least 5 times annually (0/5)
Take skateboards out 5 times annually (0/5)

WE SHARE THE SAME BLOOD:
Email/Call one family member once a week (0/52 weeks)
Call Grandparents once a week (0/52 weeks)
Confirm birthdays and send EVERYONE in my family/in-laws a birthday cards
Plan Cousins Party
Do weekend trip with Mom
Go to Manhattan Beach with dad
Host my Parents & In-Laws for Dinner and Game night
Make a Family Tree
Visit Brother & Sister In-Law

ME & MI AMOUR:
Go to South Africa for the World Cup 2010
Go to the cabin 4 times annually (0/4)
Scrapbook/DVD our Honeymoon
Scrapbook/DVD our Wedding
Make “our travels” book with coordinating pin map
Get rid of Credit Card Debt
Host the Annual Christmas Party
Host one extra party a year
Take a road trip for concert or festival
Plan 10 creative dates (0/10)
Take picture in photo booth for every Anniversary (0/3)
Do something OUTSIDE together once a week from June-August (0/13)
Eat at a new restaurant once a month (0/12)
Come up with 5 meaningful surprises for Mi Amour (0/5)
Take a “for fun” class together
Use the “special” money for its intended use!
Buy an accordion
Learn to play the accordion

FOR MY BRAIN:
Go one semester with ZERO absences
Get a scholarship
Make one new school friend (0/1)
Maintain a B average
Graduate with a BA in Recreation

ART-I-NESS:
Always have one garment going
Complete 5 garments for self (0/5)
Sketch once a week for 2 months (0/8)
Sew doll for Baby Carissa
Make Christmas gifts for baby cousins (0/12)
Make ALL Birthday/Christmas gifts
Make gifts for Mackenzie & Madalynn
Silk Screen a shirt annually (0/1)
Support five local artist (0/1)

POUR MOI:
Shop at Thrift Stores ONLY unless specific item is needed
Learn how to use Mi Amour’s camera
Finish 12 books a year (0/12)
Get a tattoo
Make folder of “Places to see”
Put all of “odd jobs” money in savings
Clean Mom & Dads house once a month (0/12)
Only watch my shows on TV, otherwise keep the TV OFF
Watch ALL “best picture” films
Watch all nominated films for 2010 Oscars
Read one book of the bible a month
Cook & Bake every recipe I have ripped out of a magazine
Organize recipes
Organize photos!!
Organize crafting/sewing stuff
Quit my current job and work my dream job
Plan 10 High School Reunion

ITS NOT ABOUT ME…IT’S ABOUT YOU:
Send 15 pieces of snail mail (0/15)
Pick one Non-Profit to become actively involved with
Do 10 “purposeful acts of kindness” in secret (0/10)
Plan a party for someone else
Plan a SURPRISE party
Visit our compassion child

FOR OUR WORLD AND THOSE WHO LIVE IN IT:
only ride bike or walk to near by shopping centers for 12 months (0/12)
Get flowers & Plants for Patio
Shop at Farmers Market once a month (0/12)
Grow a vegetable or fruit and cook with it (0/1)

HIGH TECH:
Blog at least once a week for a year (0/52weeks)
Comment on one blog a day for 1 month (0/30)
Purchase a Mac Book for school
Open Etsy shop
Make slide shows for Jr. High (End of the Year/Camping)

OUR HUMBLE HOME:
Decorate Apartment for every season (0/4)
Move to 1st Floor Apartment
Have a custom piece of Art made
Get a book shelf
Re-decorate one room

JUNIOR HIGH aka “MY KIDS”:
Organize Jr. High cabinets & Move storage unit into Jr. High room
Plan one outing a month in summer (0/3)
Do dinner every other Friday with kids in summer (0/7)
Have slumber party with “8th Grade Girls Only”
Host Youth Leaders at Cabin

FRIENDS FOREVER:
Meet up with Tracy
Visit Jennine & Babies
Have photo booth session with Nai
Keep in touch with Rebecca
Go to Flogging Molly Concert with Mi, Nai, E and Leah

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE:
Visit 3 National Parks
Plan 5 “1-2 Day Vacations”
Go to Portland and stay at Sally’s Beach House
See all there is to see, starting in Irvine
Visit Machu Picchu

this week...

Last Friday was lovely. We took the youth from church (which includes Jr. High & High School, and a few college who love us so much, they won't leave) ice skating. FUN FUN FUN. Some of the kids were fantastic...others not so much. I have a ridiculous amount of photos of kids hanging on to each other for dear life. As you can see in the picture below, mi amour decided to steal the spotlight from some of our girls.



After about an hour of skating, a game of tag started. Now mind you, I am not horrible at skating, but I lack skills in the STOPPING department. So as this game of tag started, so how I became the target. Someone would tag me, I would tag someone else and that person would tag me back...and so on. After about 10 minutes of this I am POOPED! However, the tiny bit of competitiveness in me would NOT allow them to win. Even though I did not fall (cue whistles and claps)I was not without injury. Apparently using slamming into the wall as a stopping technique is harmful to your body. See picture below.



Moral of the story: after the age of 24, don't play ice tag.

Dear Grandpa...

Dear Grandpa...

I love you very much. I am sorry that I haven't been by to see you recently, even though you are doing much better. I know that when things were worse you did not want me there. It was too hard for you to see us hurting and for you to be in that helpless condition before our eyes. Even though you couldn't talk and had tubes coming out of ever where possible and you were not quite awake, I knew. You and I, we could always read each others minds.

The last time I was with you, Mom was gently stroking your head and singing you hymns. I tried to join in, but between my mom, my tears and off-key voice, we were horrible. I imagined you laughing at us and our poor attempt at calming you.

I am sorry that I can not control my tears when I am with you. I have had you for so long, it is hard to imagine life without you. I know this is natural and I know I have been spoiled to have 25 years with you, but it does not make this any more easier. I find my self unable to even think about you and what you are going through, let alone talk about it.

Grandma breaks my heart with the things she says to me. She says she finds peace in the hope that the Lord has given us. She knows that our time here on earth is short and the time she may have to be separated from you is even shorter. She admitted that her secret prayer for a long time has been that the Lord will take her first, so that she will not have to live without you. I hope to achieve that kind of love that is deep and rooted. It is unbreakable, unshakable and is bursting from within in you both.

Thank you for the memories. Thank you for taking time out of your life for me. Thank you for lunch at Taco Bell. Thank you for your never ending support and encouragement in all my crazy ventures. Thank you being so generous and not thinking twice about giving or providing for your LARGE and NEEDY family. You are our rock and support. We always knew you gave so much to us, but now we truly feel it from within.

I love you Grandpa...I am thankful for the time God has given us here on earth.

Some craziness and some kindness

This post is dedicated to my husband (aka mr. winky pants)

CRAZINESS:
My husband recently had his wisdom teeth pulled...ALL 4!! Apparently this is unusual, because every time I tell people he had his wisdom teeth pulled, they ask "how many?", and are SHOCKED when I tell them "all four". The oral surgery only took 40 minutes, but it took him 15 minutes to wake up. As soon as he was awake, the nurse came and got me, so she could give us instructions. As soon as I walk in, I see him sitting there with sleeping eyes and a distant stare. Once the nurse begins giving us care instructions, he starts winking at me. Not like 1 or 2 winks...like repetitive winking. I try to hold in my laughter and be an adult as I listen to unsmiling nurses instructions. Its hopeless...I have no self control. As soon as she leaves to get the doctor, we have this conversation:

"mr. winky pants" : I am going to pretend I am dead
(mind you, his mouth is full of gauze)

me : wha...huh?

"mr. winky pants" : I'm going to pretend I'm dead...
(he proceeds to lay lifeless in the chair with bloody mouth open and eyes closed)

We had a few other conversations that consisted of nonsense ramblings and me laughing out loud. As soon as the doctor walked in, I was able to compose myself and resume maturity. I love my husband...no one makes me laugh harder than him.

KINDNESS:

It was my husbands birthday recently, and he got a little spare change from grandpa. Unlike me, my husband has the ability to spend his money wisely and quickly. I hide mine and think about sending it.
On Sunday he surprised me and said he wanted to take me on a date. Now I should tell you we are on MEGA save mode because we are hoping to go to South Africa for the World Cup 2010. So I thought...oookkkaay...then he proceeds to melt my heart. He tells me, I want to thank you for the patience, care and love you have shown me these last few weeks...I have some birthday money left, so I want to take you to a movie and PinkBerry. (remember he just had 4 teeth pulled) Is you heart melting yet? He wasn't finished. My "film guru" husband then says: "do you want to watch Bride Wars or He's Just Not That Into You?" Ummmm...excuse me? We have been together for about 8 years, never have we seen a "chick flick"...NEVER! I about fell over...I couldn't believe it. I chose He's Just Not That Into You and it was horrible...but I didn't care and he didn't care. He showed my kindness, appreciation and selflessness. What he made me feel cannot be fully expressed with words. If I were a cartoon, I would hearts for eyeballs and be drunk with love.

Friends and wasting time at work

I have some wonderful, thoughtful and loyal friends. I am beyond blessed in that department. It might due to the fact that if I know you, I automatically think you are my friend...my husband finds this odd. When it comes to my close friends, I usually end up giving them their own special nick name. I find it endearing, its a way I show my love in a way. Like when people in love use nicknames I guess. I usually end up shortening their name in some way, but sometimes it comes out of left field...like my brother...I call him Pablo, his name in no way can be tied to Pablo. I guess this is my substitue for rolling them in a ball and squeezing them everytime I see them.

On another note, I have been reading and following blogs like CRAZY!! Literally...I spent almost my entire 8 hour shift at work reading blogs. I got some great ideas and have BIG plans for my blog. Kind of excited! I hope to use my blog as encouragement to take part in things I love, instead of sitting on my butt or cleaning the apartment.

Here are some of my ideas:
1. Make a 101 in 1001 list
2. Share my current crafts
3. Share my new designs usning my fashion school skills
4. Share new ways to give and help others be aware of the world we live in
5. Embarrass my husband...wait...i mean...share my love for my CRAZY husband
6. Show my amazing thrift finds
7. Share my favorite recipes
8. Say things I don't know how to say out loud

Well...my 8 hour shift is almost over, that means I should hurry and make it look like I did something before the second shift comes in!!